I am an anomaly among LDS moms who are approaching the (big?) "four-oh."
Enter sacrament meeting, stage left and ten minutes late: 2 boys, their sis, and parents who quickly steer offspring to the cultural hall fold-up chairs (lamenting we missed our chance for the pews ONCE AGAIN). That's us...the ever-so-late-even-though-we-don't-have-babies-or- toddlers-to-get-ready-for-church Burton family.

NOW..my anomalous status isn't due to being relentlessly late for church (isn't this an understood prerequisite in Mormondom?) or that my 7, 9 and 11 year-olds should have better training at my hands in getting ready, mooey-pronto. It's that I can't even appreciate the cultural hall outer darkness we've been banished to, all ripened in snacks and sippee cup iniquity. You see, I've no toddler who can chuck Cheerios on that ripe domain...and further, I only have three, all of whom feel Cheerios are now beneath them.

There, I said it. Only three. (Standing now, with microphone) "My name is Cherie, and I'm a Mormon Mother of Three." (Hi, Cherie)

Hi. Doesn't 3 represent "incomplete" somewhere in the annals of LDS Parenthood Culturally-Correctness? All I know is at Education Week I learned that 7 symbolizes "complete" in the scriptures. You know, Seven Seals, Seventh Day God Rested...Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (wait...wrong reference). Seriously though, anything less than 4 children for a 39 year-old active LDS stay-at-home mom such as myself seems, well - culturally incorrect. Or at very least incomplete.

After my youngest hit about 4 and #4 was nowhere in sight, I found myself trying to come up with the most spiritually enlightening comeback to the "Wonder why she only has 3..." looks or the ever-so-subtle "So, are you guys done?" probes. I never came up with anything terribly profound, just the run-of-the-mill, "The Lord hasn't blessed us with any more." Then I finally stopped trying to justify, explain or even worry about how our brood was being perceived. After all, He knows my heart - how in its deepest recesses lies a longing to nurture and love more than the three I've been given. How I've grieved over the ones I've lost and yearn for those I see waiting in the wings. Another story.

JUST to debunk any preconceived ideas about equating numbers of children with levels of spirituality:
President Uchtdorf: 2 children
Elder Bednar: 3 children
President Monson: 3 children
Sister Chieko Okazaki: 2 children
Sister Ardeth Kapp: 0 children
Sister Sheri Dew: 0 children

Check out this quote by Brigham Young: "Many of the sisters grieve because they are not blessed with offspring. You will see the time when you will have millions of children around you. If you are faithful to your covenants, you will be the mothers of nations. You will become Eves to earths like this, and when you have assisted in peopling one earth, there are millions of others still in the course of creation. And when they have endured a thousand million times longer than this earth, it is only as it were the beginning of your creation. Be faithful and if you are not blessed with children in this time, you will be hereafter." (Deseret News, Vol. 10, p. 306, October 14, 1860)

Whoa. Guess I need some extra prep time to learn how to handle ka-jillions. For now, I'll stick with my three...and my sister Robin's two...and my sister Taunia's three...and my late sister Shawna's five...and my brother Ryan's two...and the friends of my children...and the children of my friends...and the Primary classes I sub for...and the flag football team my husband coaches...and the 6th grade class I volunteer with...and the 4th grade class...and the 2nd grade class...

Are we not all mothers in Zion, as Sheri Dew reminds us? Are we not all mothers to every child who crosses our paths? I believe we are. Are our lives unfolding with perfect order, the seasons and habitations of our progenitors being managed by the wisest organizers in the cosmos? I believe they are. And this knowledge gives me the confidence I need to wade through the Cheerios into the cultural hall abyss. Late.